Dear Cross Roads,
I’m writing this from our 1,300-square-foot townhouse with a patch of grass smaller than a yoga mat.

My husband—God love him—just financed a $9,000 zero-turn riding lawn mower because he said it was “on sale” and “an investment.” Did I mention we don’t have a yard? We pay $90 a month for HOA lawn maintenance. The man is now mowing community grass at 7am on Saturdays for fun. Like some kind of suburban vigilante.

We just had our second kid. We’re not drowning in debt, but we’re not rolling in it either. I handle most of our finances, and while this wasn’t a total budget-buster, it definitely wasn’t smart. I want to clean this up, avoid WWIII, and prevent future Financial Fails.

How do I money-mop this up without getting a divorce?

Sincerely,
Grass Widow in Greensboro

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Dear Grass Widow,

First of all, let’s honor the real tragedy here: a $9K riding mower for a postage stamp of lawn is... bold. But also iconic in the worst way. He basically bought a John Deere-branded midlife crisis.

Still, this is fixable—and you don’t have to bury him in mulch to make it right. Here's your Cross Roads-style guide to cleaning up after your husband’s financial oopsie—with grace, grit, and a little roast along the way.

🧽 1. Return It, Rent It, or Rehome It

Start with the obvious: can you return the mower? Even with a restocking fee, it's likely a better deal than keeping it and watching it depreciate in your garage while it gathers passive-aggressive dust.

If not, explore:

• Facebook Marketplace Flip: There’s a dude out there who actually needs this and will overpay for “like new” equipment.
• Lawn Mower Rental Side Hustle: If he has to keep it, make him list it on Fat Llama or local rental apps. $40/day adds up fast.

🧠 Keyword plug: how to make money from unused equipment

💸 2. Audit & Auto-Fix Your Budget

This incident proves you need a “Surprise Dumb Purchase” buffer—like a mini-emergency fund but for spontaneous husband logic. Create a category in your budget app called “Regret Cushion.” Set it at $50–$100/month. Accept it. Embrace it. Game the system.

Also:

• Set purchase thresholds: Any item over $250 = must-text-your-spouse territory.
• Auto-transfer whatever he was paying monthly for mower financing into a joint savings account once it’s sold.

🧠 SEO tie-in: smart ways to fix budget after overspending

🛠️ 3. Build a “Money Talk” Ritual That’s Actually Fun

Schedule weekly “Finance & Wine” nights. Review spending, bills, goals, and dream purchases—then toast to the fact that he hasn’t financed a hot tub for the guest bathroom (yet).

Bonus: Use this to introduce joint goals like:

• A vacation (to a place where mowers fear to tread)
• Paying off the car
• Actually investing (in like...stocks, not John Deere)

Keyword gold: how couples can manage money without fighting

🙃 4. Roast with Love, Then Move On

The mower was dumb. But you love this man. And a part of you has to admire the chaotic suburban energy it takes to become the unsolicited grass hero of your HOA.

Give him a little hell. Make it funny. Name the mower. (Mowgli? Lawnrence? Sir Mows-a-Lot?) Then turn it into a shared lesson: You handle the finances because you're better at it, and that’s a strength, not a control issue.

Bottom Line:
You’re not alone. One in three people have made a major purchase behind their partner’s back—and most regret it later. What matters is that you’re proactive, compassionate, and quietly savage about it.

So sell the mower. Rebuild the budget. And maybe next time, suggest he channels his energy into something lower horsepower... like a Costco membership.

With admiration, restraint, and a spreadsheet,
Cross Roads